1. |
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Make way for the Empress, she's closing in on me
Nipping at the heels of the war that she secedes
To haunt my favorite restaurants, ruin my favorite songs
Kick her feet up, swearing she belongs
I guess I'll slow my step now, let her take my hand
Show me all the happiness that isn't in the plan
Chat until she's sick of me and carries on her way
Promises that she'll be back one day
Paint every hearbroke fool black with your experience
Cast a shadow across the shadows that I cast
Commiserate with me and plan for something honest
As if the view from heaven will last
Depression is my Empress, I never knew her name
Until she whispered in my ear that everything's the same
Skated by on razor blades, spun a triple sol
Blew a kiss, that's all she'd allow
She manifests herself in everyone I know
Quietly they let me down and I can't let it show
If I force a smile, well, she's right there smiling less
You'll never know me like the Empress
A heartbroke fool black from wrestling the chimneysweep
Who swears it's blocked and the exhaustion can't escape
It helps to know you're out there somewhere doing worse than me
Oh god I hope that that's the case
Make way for the Empress closing in on me
Nipping at the heels of the one that she succeeds
Wish I had a million words to call you what you are
The only friend I've had so far
A spectre that won't leave me, a ghost besets my fun
Never leaves me lonely in the times I come undone
Nothing is more comforting than her plague of embrace
The Empress keeps me in my place
Another heartbroke sweet apologist you've painted
Another ebb is on the way
Another text for help deleted before I sent it
Another wink, another day
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2. |
II. Take Your Pill
04:30
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The fame you find in your mind should keep you well and disinclined
Bend your will and take your pill
Don't believe the dirty truths I weave
I'm just a foe you never got to know
Bend your will and take your pill
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3. |
III. Worse or Well
03:59
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Well I think I'm doing better but the Empress don't agree
The worse I do, the more she lives in me
To implode each passing kindness, corrupt each passing grace
Tolerance to pills grows commonplace
I think I'm doing better but the Empress don't agree
She's the one who passes the decrees
To smile on allowance and laugh at my own risk
Leave in the shadows of the sick
Time will only tell, maybe if I get worse or well
I think I'm doing better but the Empress don't agree
Picking fights with actuality
There's the folks who claim to love me, want to understand
And yet they let the Empress take my hand
Time will only tell, maybe if I get worse or well
Then I understood
The Empress is death
The Empress is good
She's made room for me
To finally feel seen
To finally feel free
She's just out to conquer all she can
She's got no end, she's got no plan
When my pills run out
There's nothing but her sarcastic pout,
"Well I think I'm doing better"
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4. |
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She skates the frozen lake of plans, pauses to make eye contact, and glides towards me.
Gracefully she slows, doing her best not to smile. Reaches out, takes my hand. Skating backwards, pulls me carefully onto the ice.
Your family won't even notice that you've gone
Your enemies won't ever play your songs
You're not leaving anyone but yourself behind
So break on through with your heel
Straight down into the lake of plans, the Empress is just circling the hole. Watching me claw for air.
Your memory won't even last until July
Your legacy of absent statistics doesn't lie
You're not leaving anyone but yourself behind
So push on down, breathe it in
You're just frozen on the couch again
The Empress in your skin
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5. |
V. True Rest
04:55
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Afternoon or middle of the night
You always find me contrite
Fatigue in limbs and heart and mind
Disenchanted, disinclined
True rest you cruel evasive routine
All I wanted was the energy to dream
Half awake and half alive
Disconnected to survive
Each idea weight
Soliloquies and rebuttals replayed
A comedy of sinking skin
Untethered muscle and chagrin
True rest I feel you in my bones
And welcome you to take me to my home
Half alive and half asleep
You leave me in the deep
Let me self-deprecate and right a thousand wrongs
In the time before the sunrise dawns
Let me breath it out so I can breath in to the core
Eleven becomes four
Never gone and never here
Relentless echo in the ear
Another ice expanse profound
But the Empress can't expound
True rest you cruel evasive curse
Ocean of salt for every desperate childish thirst
Half invested and half dead
Stuck here in this bed
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muh Chicago, Illinois
Jesse Giallombardo has been in lots of other musical projects. Some of them are called: The Paver, Old Youth, Killer Whale Party, Beard, Beat Drun Juel, The Medic, The Malcolm Effect, Northern Pike, The Promise of East, you get the idea.
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